Full of Labels

Let’s face it, we all label each other. Perhaps we do it to enable recall, like names, or mutual connections. Or maybe we label others to solidify or publicize our relationship with them. But more often than not, we do it for more personal reasons. Labeling others to define where we stand on an issue or how we feel about another’s lifestyle can be a convenient way to detract attention from our own shortcomings. It is always easier to point out someone else’s flaws than deal with the mess we’ve made in our own lives. 

Max Lucado has written a children’s book titled You are Special.  It’s a wonderful story about the lives of Wemmicks, small wooden people who fill their days labeling each other with stickers. The pretty, bright Wemmicks are covered in gold stars while the blemished, cracked ones receive only gray dots. There is one Wemmick, Lucia, who has no stickers at all. The stickers do not stay on her because she chooses not to believe the labels associated with them. It’s a lovely reminder that God alone is allowed to label each of us, and he always chooses to call us His beloved.

We all have blemishes, sins and faults that others can see. We also have internal struggles that are hidden from the world, but always seen by our Creator and Maker.  We can become consumed with the obviousness of these sins and what others think of us, rather than what we know to be true. It’s so very easy to get caught up in perceptions, but this can also be very dangerous. While we may seek to achieve a certain social status or popularity, we can lose a piece of who we are in the process. Before we realize it, those around us befriend the idea of who we portray ourselves to be, rather than the creation that God had in mind before we were born.  We live in a world that values outward appearance and likability, dismissing morality and purity in favor of conformation.  

Two verses come to mind as I type this. First, Matthew 7:1-2 which tells us “Judge not, that you be not judged; for with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”  That’s pretty self-explanatory. When we choose to place labels on others, we are judging them, often without cause, but always without authority. The second is from Romans 12:1-2 reading “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  Both these verses serve as poignant reminders that we are called as His to be free from condemnation and conformity.  Our human labels only serve to pigeonhole and punish, but God’s labels us as His in 1 Peter 2:9.  “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. “ Wow, what wonderful affirmations for all of us who call Him our God and Savior.

Reflecting on Max’s book, I love Lucia because she does not allow what others think about her to diminish her value or self worth.  She walks through her days blissfully unburdened when peers give her stars or dots. I covet her ability to let go of anything said about her that comes from anyone other than the one who made her. What freedom must come in that!

What labels have you have placed on others today? Which of those did you allow others to choose for you? What label would you choose for yourself? I struggle with what others believe about me, and it often brings me great pain. But I can always remind myself of the truth God has written about me on His heart and that should be more than enough to sustain me until He sends his Son to bring me home. 

only lived fully in forgiveness

Total and complete forgiveness is something I struggle with. Not the act of telling someone that I have forgiven them, but the attempt to put it fully behind me. When I verbally release another from the guilt or shame they feel for what has transpired, I feel relief, and yet I know that often my heart is not feeling what my mouth has spoken. It's just like a lie. It pervades my thoughts, perverts my intentions and prevents my healing.

Recently, I chose to leave my husband of almost 20 years. It was not an easy decision, and was not entered lightly. While I could no longer remain in our relationship, I struggle daily with the results and grapple nonstop with my emotions.  I will not share what caused our decline, only that it was crippling emotionally and spiritually. I am now left sorting through a confusing mixture of grief and anger. I have only recently confronted the reality that I am responsible for my own lack of forgiveness, and by holding onto it, I am at risk of losing more that I can afford. In the end, my own emotions matter little. My feelings about what transpired, or how things ended, are irrelevant. I know this, and yet I continue to allow myself to relive it. I need God's promises in His word to help release me from the bondage of unforgiveness.

God is pretty clear about unforgiveness. He tells us in Hebrews 12:15 that our bitterness will cause trouble and defile many. Many. So I guess I'm not alone, although that does not provide much relief. Defiling myself doesn't sound like a good long term plan. He says in 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 "Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been forgiven for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs." Dang. Unforgiveness can give Satan the upper hand and cause him to to get another advantage on me. I often feel he has already won that battle, I cannot leave myself open again.

But, it gets more dire than that. Mark 11:24-25 says this, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." My unforgiveness can impede my prayers. My unwillingness to let go can come between me and God. John 15:5 tells me that "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."  So, I can do nothing for Him unless I am right before Him. Verse 12 says "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." My inability to fully forgive effects my ability to love. If I can't forgive, I am not loving the way Christ requires me to. I'm going to call it 'loving all in.' I am called as God's child to love all in, all the time. Love without boundaries, conditions or restraint. To love all of others, not what I choose to love. To show love for others, even when I am struggling to do so. I cannot ask God to show me compassion or forgiveness when I am not able to take the first steps to be right before him.

The above alone has me turning from my stronghold, and the next should have me running. My unforgiveness shows that I do not truly love Jesus. Yes, it really does mean this and John 15:12 confirms it. If I am bitter or hold unforgiveness against someone else, I do not love them as Christ loves me. Taking that a step further, since I am not keeping Jesus's commandments, this proves I do not love Him as I should. Jesus says in John 14:23-24, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words."

It's this last one that scares me to the core, though. Jesus' command to love one another is carried on in 1 John 3:11-24, but it's verse 14 that convicted me. "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death." I cannot afford to lose my eternal home because of my unforgiveness. I cannot expect God to overlook this sin and my unrepentant approach to it, and allow me to continue living the way I am now without calling me to action. I have hope for Heaven. It's referred to as the prize in Philippians 3:14, and I embrace this truth. My heart's hold on unforgiveness can hinder the reward, cause me to stumble in my faith walk, and lead me astray.

Today, I choose to confront my unforgiveness. I will pray fervently that God would intervene on my behalf, hold Satan at bay and allow me to love all in.

demanding of conviction, not condemnation.

Yes, I'm easily confused and less easily convicted. I find myself falling into the same traps time and time again. Perhaps I'm easily influenced or just naive. Either way, it's not unusual for me to be in a situation I shouldn't, wondering what the heck went awry. If I'm honest with myself, I know what I'm doing wrong.  I'm aware of my mistakes, but I allow myself to get in over my head. And often, I leave myself no way out. When was the last time you stopped mid-track, confronted by your waywardness, and did an about face?

I had just such an incident this past week. I was lecturing one of my boys about his laziness and inability to focus at the homeschool table. He had been turning in incomplete and illegible work for days, and I had reached the limit of my patience. He listened, nodded in agreement, and promised to put more effort in. Then he asked why mom's didn't have to follow the same rules. OUCH. Honestly, I hadn't even realized how lazy my approach to school had become. Or how my attitude about grading had slipped to the point that my eldest asked why I didn't check his work anymore. Truthfully, it had only be going on since we moved in March, but still, they noticed. Boy, that was enough for me to stop in my tracks and demand a turn-around.

My children are really quick to call my attention to my mistakes. Sometimes it's like they are following my every move. I think they are waiting so they can  proclaim loudly to all within earshot that they have further proof their mother is, in fact, not perfect. If only they were as convicted about the state of their bedrooms, or obvious lack of attention to personal hygiene. But, I believe God gave me them to keep me accountable. Since I am so easily deterred, and apparently unable to make appropriate decisions on my own, God saw fit to give me five whistle blowers.

Sin is so pervasive. Satan thrives within our confusion. He delights in our faltering. He lives in our lack of conviction. He's opportunistic and clever, always waiting in the shadows for us to turn his direction. He whispers and creeps, slinks and seduces. At the same time, I am a Christian. I should be able to function, think, act and speak as a Christian. How do I avoid the same mistake twice? Fifteen times?

Condemnation comes from Satan, it's his attempt to tear you down. Condemnation points out failure and shortcomings. It highlights problems but offers no solution. Satan's hold grows when Gods' beloved believe they are lost in their sin, to far gone to be saved. But God tells us in Romans 8:1, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Satan feeds on our shame, often causing us to fear judgement and feel unworthy. But Jesus says in John 12:47 "I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."

Conviction comes from Godly sorrow that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4) While condemnation calls attention to my failures, conviction calls me to restore my relationship with Christ, and the promise of forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness." Conviction reminds me that Jesus' blood washes my sin away, making me whiter than snow.

Life in Christ truly is demanding of my conviction.

Lord,
Bring me into the fold of your love, protection and forgiveness. I know I cannot navigate the mass of confusion and condemnation that is my earthy world without your conviction. Lead me to a place where I can hear your words, allowing them to be imprinted on my very soul, absorbing my all wholly in you.

Amen

.....full of blessings.

Full. Yes, my life is full. Full of chores, errands, homeschool and housekeeping. Its also full of blessings too numerous to count. Today, I am thankful for my five children, who also seem too numerous to count, on occasion. I'm thankful for the noise they make. It reminds me that life would be silent without them. I'm thankful for the mess they leave in their wake. It forces me to recognize my fondness for their carefree days. I'm thankful for the space they leave in the fridge at the end of the day. It fills me with compassion for those that go without. But what I'm most thankful for is the faith they each possess. Watching each of them grow and mature in their faith is humbling and awesome. Sometimes I feel like the time I spend pouring into them during the day is lost in the great abyss of living. And then, one will pull me aside to tell me something they learned about Christ, or leave a note under my pillow asking me to pray specifically for a need. It usually happens when I hit a low. When I've had a bad day or feel overwhelmed, God must look down on me, and with his loving gentle nature, gift me with a reminder of what I am missing when I wallow. 

Psalm 127:3 says "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, they are a reward from Him."

Don't miss the blessing......

Challenging.

I've heard it said may times that anything worth doing is worth doing well.
I couldn't agree more. That's why I am choosing to spend a whole lot of time on myself this weekend. And I'm gonna do it well.
Selfish? perhaps..... Gratifying? of course.....Egotistical? Now wait a minute.....

Life is Challenging. There are very few who would disagree. In fact, I think you would be pretty hard pressed to find someone who thinks everything is a breeze. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the "things" that challenge us. It may be that unfinished house project that hangs over your head every weekend. You know the one I'm talking about. That ugly, half done bit of "upgrading" you convinced yourself (and your family) you could take on yourself. And then it got challenging. And that was 4 months ago.

Perhaps it's the people that challenge us, namely our children. They aren't toddlers anymore, so the kicking and screaming fits are not just louder, they are way more destructive. Those rules that you challenged yourself to uphold? Whoa, kids are all over those in a heartbeat. They are the masters of distracting for their own advantage. Soon, you've forgotten what you were thinking when you trusted them to follow through without that wet noodle beating you threatened. And that was 3 weeks back.

So back to me.....Yes, I plan on pouring into myself for the next 2 1/2 days. I ushered in 2012 married, and I choose to leave it single. I began 2012 with 7 children and will probably end it with 5 (I'll embellish on this another day). I started 2012 in a home I owned, and I am now embracing my rented abode. I chose the first, lost out on the second and make my peace in the third. But ultimately, I am not alone. I am not abandoned. I am not without my everlasting home.

What's my witness?
I hope you read and understand why I have hope for rest, refueling and refilling.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will fine rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30