Yes, I'm easily confused and less easily convicted. I find myself falling into the same traps time and time again. Perhaps I'm easily influenced or just naive. Either way, it's not unusual for me to be in a situation I shouldn't, wondering what the heck went awry. If I'm honest with myself, I know what I'm doing wrong. I'm aware of my mistakes, but I allow myself to get in over my head. And often, I leave myself no way out. When was the last time you stopped mid-track, confronted by your waywardness, and did an about face?
I had just such an incident this past week. I was lecturing one of my boys about his laziness and inability to focus at the homeschool table. He had been turning in incomplete and illegible work for days, and I had reached the limit of my patience. He listened, nodded in agreement, and promised to put more effort in. Then he asked why mom's didn't have to follow the same rules. OUCH. Honestly, I hadn't even realized how lazy my approach to school had become. Or how my attitude about grading had slipped to the point that my eldest asked why I didn't check his work anymore. Truthfully, it had only be going on since we moved in March, but still, they noticed. Boy, that was enough for me to stop in my tracks and demand a turn-around.
My children are really quick to call my attention to my mistakes. Sometimes it's like they are following my every move. I think they are waiting so they can proclaim loudly to all within earshot that they have further proof their mother is, in fact, not perfect. If only they were as convicted about the state of their bedrooms, or obvious lack of attention to personal hygiene. But, I believe God gave me them to keep me accountable. Since I am so easily deterred, and apparently unable to make appropriate decisions on my own, God saw fit to give me five whistle blowers.
Sin is so pervasive. Satan thrives within our confusion. He delights in our faltering. He lives in our lack of conviction. He's opportunistic and clever, always waiting in the shadows for us to turn his direction. He whispers and creeps, slinks and seduces. At the same time, I am a Christian. I should be able to function, think, act and speak as a Christian. How do I avoid the same mistake twice? Fifteen times?
Condemnation comes from Satan, it's his attempt to tear you down. Condemnation points out failure and shortcomings. It highlights problems but offers no solution. Satan's hold grows when Gods' beloved believe they are lost in their sin, to far gone to be saved. But God tells us in Romans 8:1, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Satan feeds on our shame, often causing us to fear judgement and feel unworthy. But Jesus says in John 12:47 "I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."
Conviction comes from Godly sorrow that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4) While condemnation calls attention to my failures, conviction calls me to restore my relationship with Christ, and the promise of forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness." Conviction reminds me that Jesus' blood washes my sin away, making me whiter than snow.
Life in Christ truly is demanding of my conviction.
Lord,
Bring me into the fold of your love, protection and forgiveness. I know I cannot navigate the mass of confusion and condemnation that is my earthy world without your conviction. Lead me to a place where I can hear your words, allowing them to be imprinted on my very soul, absorbing my all wholly in you.
Amen
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